Why Asking Why Won’t Work

If you google “why” you get a whopping 697,000,000 hits. Probably a few more than the number of times you’ve asked yourself that question, but chances are your own personal “why” count is pretty high.

Catch yourself today – how many times do you ask why?

Why can be a really cool place to hang out – one of curiosity and learning. Leonardo da Vinci said he roamed the countryside searching for answers to things he didn’t know… like how a bird suspends itself in the air or why thunder lasts longer than lightening. He engaged in those kinds of why questions his whole life and they led him to some amazing discoveries.

Curiosity has prompted some interesting questions:
Vince Lombardi asked, “If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?”
Woody Allen wondered, “Why are days numbered and not lettered?”
Lily Tomlin queried, “Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?”
Whys born out of curiosity are mind expanding and freeing and just down right fun.

For most of us though, WHY can be a pretty limiting place.

We ask ourselves questions that second guess our decisions, or the motives of others, or about the circumstances we find ourselves in. It’s not that WHY can’t be reflective or informing. The truth is most of the time, the answers to our usual why questions are often uncertain or at least unsatisfying. They typically lead to another why about why things aren’t different.

Oh my.

But the most limiting why is the one that feeds your need to know – having to have all the answers lined up neatly before you are able or willing to take the next step – whatever that might be.

Why can be a great little trap that keeps you exactly where you are.

Why not try something different?

• Ask yourself if the why question is really about curiosity and learning, or more about procrastinating. If you’re just spinning your wheels, let why go and move forward. More often than not, you don’t need the answer anyway.

• Switch to asking “what” questions. Instead of asking “Why isn’t this working?”, ask “What can I do differently?” The answers to what questions often contain forward momentum.

• If you find you really get stuck on a why question, just make up an answer. Cartoonist Charles Shultz used to say to not take life so personally. Sometimes things just happen because it was your turn. If you’re stuck for a why answer, borrow his.

Imagine what wonderful things might become available if you give up the why questions. Why are you waiting?

Just curious.

Laurel Vespi, certified life coach and chief executive guru of stone circle coaching, ignites businesses & individuals to new levels of CHANGE. Laurel works with clients internationally, providing unconventional yet practical tips that make the seemingly impossible... possible!

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www.stonecirclecoaching.ca

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